Grief: A Symptom of Perimenopause, or Middle Age?
One of my teachers, Claudia Welch, says “menopause is a rearranging of every part of you– physical, energetic, and spiritual.”
On the spiritual side of the transition of perimenopause rearranging me, I find myself grieving many things.
I’m grieving that I never had children, and will not have grown kids or grandkids. This was, and continues to be, by choice, and we have to grieve the paths not taken.
I’m grieving my youth. I honestly hate when older people say “oh you’re still a baby, you’re so young,” or “You look great for your age!” I’m 45. I’m not young anymore. I’m not old, either. I’m in the middle. Hence, middle-aged 😆
I’m grieving how my body used to respond to touch, and how my sex drive used to be easy.
I’m grieving my parents getting older. I don’t really want to be in the world without them.
Sometimes there is grief at this time in life, and we may not be able to pinpoint it. But you may be experiencing grief for many reasons.
Grief might be there because you’ve realized you’re tired of living a life that isn’t authentic to you. Grief might be present because you have no idea what your body is doing right now– it feels out of your control. Grief might be there because maybe you’ve already lost one or more parents, friends, or family members, and it feels much too soon.
Grief is a many layered phenomenon.
Per Ayurveda, we need to digest our emotions as well as our food.
Undigested emotions lead to undigested toxins (both mental and physical) and can lead to imbalance showing up in the body as physical symptoms.
Another way to say it: “our issues live in our tissues.”
It’s important to sit with grief, journal, walk mindfully, or speak with a trusted friend or therapist, and process it as best you can.
It's also critical to feel out what things in your life need changing-- those that are in your control, to live your life in alignment with who you're becoming in this big rearrangement of body, mind and spirit.
As always: mindful awareness and acknowledgement are the first steps.